It has been a while since, I was with someone special. I kinda forgot how it feels to kiss and hold someone special in life, I feel as if I might not remember what it feels to be loved again. I know I done wrong in my past, and i regret the actions and decisions I made in life. At times, I wonder if there is something in life I was able to do to change the actions that hurt so many. When I was younger I hurt all that ever cared, and loved me. I and burned all the bridges that I crossed. After a while I learned and regret how my life was, and became more with god and trying to make changes through time. Changes are never easy or comes over night, it is something we all must learn to live with. To forgive our own thoughts and actions, is part of it. Even though it's also good to ask for someone to forgive you. You must be able to understand, and admit to the decisions that lead to the life that you ended up with. I am lonely and feeling as if I may never find, someone to care for and love. What hurts me the most, is I see now that I might end up alone. That is why we all must learn and open our eyes, before it's to late. Because once it is, to late. That is when you start to notice, that you might never know the feeling of having someone special in life. That is when you forget the feeling of feeling, someone special holding you and kissing you and all the great things to come. If you don't believe me than, why have I forgotten what love and caring feels like? Why do I feel this pain, where someone special should be? I know because it happen to me.

For a while I have been feeling a little down, not sure why. I guess it has to do with a lot, that goes on within time. Finding myself searching, for what is. Has got me wondering about life, and who I am at moments of time. I guess living here has got me, wondering if there was more to the view of what I became. Turning to god, has allowed me to view myself more of who I can be. Instead of how I screwed up within my past, for now only the future holds the truth of what I can thrive for in life.

I am not sure of why I feel this way, for some reason I still feel as if I am alone and not sure why.I know I done wrong in my past, and I have learned to live with it. But for some reason, for the demons I created for myself. The haunting of what I go through each day, does not seem to be within me. I admit to the actions of being selfish and not knowing what I was doing at one time, maybe I was to selfish to see what I was doing. But to be honest, trying to make it with the faith I have now. At times I wonder, if I am being punished for the actions of how I use to be. I just hope that within time, a second chance to do what is right. Would allow me to provide something, I been dreaming for a long time now.